With my Coca Cola, I am at peace with the world

Adeyemi strode through the sitting room into the dinning room. He opened the refrigerator and lowered his frame to look into the fridge. His eyes popped open. The fridge was filled with Ugu, Watermelon, Cucumber and Carrots.

‘What! Was she trying to sell market in his house?’ where were the cans of coca cola he left in the fridge yesterday. He was so sure he didn’t drink any of them, last he counted which of course was this morning, there had been at least five cans. Now not even one was left.

Adeola that he knew didn’t take coke except she was pregnant, he straightened himself and frowned, was she pregnant again? His eyes popped even wider, Modupe was not even one yet. His mind started to race, the economy was too tight at the moment to accommodate another mouth. Adeola had a mischievous grin on her face when he’d walked into the house a few minutes ago but he had been too tired to worry about her, all he’d been thinking about was to gulp down one can of the chilled coke to calm his nerves after that long annoying traffic.

The thought of the chilled coke simmering down his throat had been the only thing that kept him from coming down and dragging down that stupid keke guy that had blocked him when he had just one more turn into the estate to get out of that long traffic. Oh it was also that imagination that stopped him from cursing the other guy that had jumped into his lane without trafficating.

“Babe?” He called walking into the kitchen where she was now turning eba. “What happened to the cokes I kept in the fridge?”

Her back was turned to him but he could swear she still had that mischievous grin on her face. He frowned, what was she up to this time? Oh today was still the 1^st of April, April Fool’s day. He would know he had been fooled six times by his colleagues, even to the extent of him trying to avoid being fooled only to end up falling into a much larger foolery. He was not going to fall for any other foolery. He was done.

Last year she’d played the ‘I am pregnant’ prank on him only it wasn’t a prank in the end, life fooled both of them and Modupe came, but since then he had been on high alert. He wasn’t having another child until further notice. The economy had gone into another recession and was biting really hard.

She shrugged and turned to him, her face was now blank again and he could tell she was struggling to keep a straight face. “I don’t know. Ask Maami.”

“Maami?” He asked, his mother was in Ilorin and she never said she was coming over. Ohhh! The April fool thingy. He was not falling for it. “Babe, I know its April fool’s day and I am not falling for that thing this time, so quit trying.” He responded and headed out.

He was going to use the toilet and take a bath in readiness for the food she was making and then hopefully she would have brought out his drinks from wherever she’d hidden them.

He settled into the white bowl and released the cheek of his butt at the same time he heard the mould of waste product drop into the clean water, pom, pom, pom. He smiled in satisfaction as his bowels freed up. Time to have some meal; he had already perceived the aroma of the Egusi soup Adeola was making.

Adeyemi sighed and smiled in satisfaction as the last of the poo dropped, he stretched out his hand towards the tissue hanger, opening his eyes at the same time his fingers brushed against the paper, only it was not the soft tissue but a roll of silver tape.

“Arggh! Adeola!” he groaned. “This is not funny!” He got up and went towards the bucket under the tap, the liquid in it looked funny. He bent the bucket over and discovered that the liquid was blackish. Within a minute recognition hit him. His coke! He peered into the bucket again, this time bringing it closer to his face to perceive it.

“No, no, no!” he started to whimper, Adeola didn’t do this to him! He rushed out of the bathroom with his trouser stretched over his legs, “Adeola! Adeola!!” he met her outside the door laughing and holding her phone in her hand pointed at him and immediately he knew he had fallen for her prank so he rushed back into the toilet covering the cheeks of his butt with his other hand while one hand pulled at his trouser.

“Idiot!” he cursed knowing fully well that she had gotten a good picture or video of him that she was going to use to blackmail him in future. He just hoped that video didn’t get to his mother. He flushed and more black water poured from the tank into the bowl and he gnashed his teeth as his sweet imagination was flushed down with his body waste.

“Oh, I am going to get back at Adeola.” He swore just as he stepped into the shower to have a wash.

Adeyemi was sulky, his head was now cool but he was still smarting from the pain of losing his sweet old Coca colas and the thought of falling for another April fool prank. He crawled into bed refusing to have his dinner. He was playing a game on his phone when Adeola breezed into the room dancing and humming to herself. He pretended not to see her, while planning his revenge.

Perhaps not eat her food? No, that would mean spending extra to feed outside, except if he didn’t provide money for food at home. But that would affect his children besides she was still breastfeeding Modupe. Perhaps cut her allowance. He groaned inwardly, he wasn’t that much of a mischief planner. But he needed one sweet one.

He heard her drop something on the side table, from the corner of his eyes he peeped to see what she was doing without turning his head so she wouldn’t know he was watching her. She was placing a tray of food on the side stool and was that… a cold can of Coca cola! From where he sat he could see the perspiring body of the can, he started to salivate. Should he jump at it or should he continue to pretend like he didn’t see her?

She turned to him with that mischievous grin still plastered on her lips, it was even broader. Adeyemi quickly turned his eyes back to his phone and pretended like he was engrossed in the game.

“Baby…” she called endearingly, “there is coke there o.”

He eyed her and pretended like he was no longer interested. She laughed clapping both hands together. “You will be hungry o. better eat.” She laughed again and left the room.

In a second Adeyemi threw off the duvet and swing his feet off the bed, going straight for the cold can of Coca Cola. He pulled open the locked key, sighing in satisfaction as the can hissed, announcing the escape of the first sound of gas. He took a long draw off the can, gulping down speedily and loving the sound in his throat as the cold dark liquid ran through his patched throat. He sighed in satisfaction as the cold sweetness connected his tongue with the back of his head.

He ahhed, sucked his teeth and licked his lips then lowered the can before taking off the ceramic lid she’d placed over the food. He cut moulds of the eba dipping it into the hot Egusi before lifting it into his tongue.

He had gone half way through the meal when he heard a knock on his door and without waiting for a response Maami burst into his room.

“Adeyemi mi.”

“Maami?” he replied his jaw dropping open, the food in his hand forgotten. What was going on here? He had always told his mother to call before coming over, especially since she and Adeola never really got along well. Were they both in on the prank? And why was she here? Was this another prank?

“What are you doing here?”

“My friend will you get up and greet your mother properly?” she rebuked, the warrior in her coming to the fore.

Adeyemi realised himself, it didn’t matter how old he was, this woman could swat him at any time. He pulled himself off the bed and prostrated before her, touching the brown tiles with a finger, momentarily forgetting that the same finger would be returned to his mouth to put his meal.

“Pele oko mi. Bawo ni?” she accepted his greeting and asked how he was doing while patting him on the back.

“Mo wa ma.” He replied assuring her that he was doing ok before resuming his seating position on the bed.

Maami sat beside him and listened with a smile and intermittent grunts as he asked how her trip had been and if she’d had anything to eat. The question of why she was in Lagos still at dancing at the brim of his words.

“Adeola asked me to come.” She said simply and got to her feet with a groan and with her palm supporting her knees. “Jeun, a  ma rira later.” She concluded and headed out leaving him more confused than when she’d stepped in.

On the one hand Adeola seemed too happy while he mother seemed morose. He hoped Adeola had not done something stupid, he started to think fast, had he done something he did not know about? He rushed through his food and hurried out of the room.

On his way to the kitchen to ask Adeola what was going on, he passed by the dinning room and instinctively opened the fridge, all cans of the Coca-cola were back where he kept them. He frowned, he was definitely not asleep the first time he’d checked. Those cans were not where they were sitting prettily now staring at him like he was some idiot.

He shrugged and smiled. Whatever the problem was that made Maami come to Lagos without notice or was making Adeola smile sheepishly all around the house could not matter any more, with his Coca-cola in his fridge, he was completely at peace with the world.