Hmm, politics in Nigeria is interesting. It is exactly like Nollywood, like it is a complete script for a blockbuster movie. If storytellers begin to look deeply into the lives of our Politicians and people in government you will see what I am saying.

See these people watch a lot of Hollywood movies, trust me. How else do you explain the dramas that have been happening in this country? Ha! It is a complete script! Nollywood has got nothing on us. Ok, let me draw some highlights,

Anaconda: the horror/thriller movies that was released in 1997, this story definitely inspired madam Philomena Chieshe of Jamb office. This woman watched this film and decided to re-enact the scenario with the thirty-six million Naira fees they had collected for examination.

The only problem is, this snake of hers was not visible and no one could attack it, she probably added the Nigerian version of which is the voodoo power, you know our disappearing babalawo power. Or perhaps she has also watched some of these superheroes that have the power to become invisible.

I am still finding it a bit difficult to decide on which one, whether Susan, Storm of the Fantastic Four, or perhaps Griffin! You know the one who moved from being good to becoming a thief and a murderer, hmm…. Or maybe we should be looking at Nightcrawler, the creepy blue and red figure that appeared in some of the X-men series.

Ha, this part is hard to tell, maybe we should put her as Magik, the unassuming girl who lived in the shadow of her brother, after all Madam Philomena was only a clerk, her position can easily be related with this Magik girl, whichever one though, you sha get the gist.

Oya the next is our very own CIA, FBI, Sherlock Babatunde Raji Fashola, baba the governor, now Minister of power. Edakun, he landed in Lagos five days after the Lekki Massacre and ghen ghen he went to visit the locus in quo and within a few minutes a camcorder, appeared, unharmed, for him to find as evidence, not the bullets, not the fire that was set on the toll gate was sufficient to melt it?

Kare o! I give you people hand. And leg too. Ehn, baba nla, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. This camcorder must have been protected by the heavenly hosts to record evidence that would answer all the questions we have been asking.

Wait, let me move to Governor Fayose, the one who claimed Police beat him up and he adorned himself with a neck sling on a neck collar. Ah tor! A broken neck that was braced by a neck collar and rather than being treated gently, they added an arm sling. Are we trying to break the neck further or did someone not go to the hospital to get properly fitted?

So you see this abundance of evidence had led me to a new proposition, I now believe that in Nigeria we have a secret division or call it rogue agency if you may, that does all the dirty jobs of those in power. If you have watched NIKITA, you will know what I am talking about.

You see in this four season serial, it told the story of a secret agency called DIVISION, made up of criminals who had been on the death row and who the world thought were dead. Some of them were set up to be recruited while others were taken in and supposedly given a second chance to live. So you see most of them were already hopeless, waiting to die and perhaps desperate for a way out.

Image Credit: Den of Geeks

Hence it was easy for the slave masters to pretend to rescue and offer them another chance. Only, this time they had to become killers for the government. Also, they had free food, clothing, shelter… does this remind you of Big brother Nigeria house? Remember how Dorathy and many of the housemates during the diary room session were grateful to big brother for the free food and not having to hustle for money and all? Only difference is, unlike in Nikita, there were no chips added to their bodies.

Just like in Nikita, the secret agents can come in any guise, they can attend the big people’s events, all that is necessary is that they remain invisible. Now compare this with when the SSS officials went to kidnap His Lordship, Honorable Justice Onnoghen then later denied it? Or when armed men in Police uniform stormed the house of the former MD of NDDC with relations to allegations of fraud?

Image Credit: IMDb

Then bring it home to the 20th of October 2020, when men in military uniform at around 7pm shot at unarmed protesters after they had organized to order a curfew and turn off all the lights, not to mention take off all the car sensors that could get damaged. Hmm.

Then the Army scheduled a post that denied any involvement in the shooting. Unfortunately what they did not count on was on the protesters going live during the shooting and using the little lights from their phone to expose them. After one week, we have the Governor of the State claiming that the order was beyond his pay grade, (mind you that is the exact language used to dismiss authorities who questioned Percy or Amanda in NIKITA).

The Tinubus’ whose family controls the Bill boards and who had all along been supporting the EndSars movement had no idea why they were asked to turn off the Billboards, and even the President himself has maintained Plausible deniability on this matter so that the question on everyone’s lips- who ordered the shooting? Remains unanswered.

Remember the word ‘Plausible Deniability’? That is exactly how this black ops unit in Nikita was being run, the government knows it exists but they stay as far from it as possible giving encrypted orders that only Percy or Amanda or Ryan Fletcher can understand and carry out without linking the government to it. They are allowed to be cloaked in any way, any dressing, at all as long as they are not directly tied to the government.

Image Credit: Den of Geeks

They remain under the shadows so that the government can always maintain plausible deniability for everything they do but they work for the government! Or how else does one explain how the Attorney General of the Federation’s utterances by the way he is supposed to be the chief prosecutor of offenders who have taken the lives of others illegally, how do you explain when he comes out to say that hoodlums dressed as Army, came in their van from the army’s Barracks and shot live bullets at protesters? Plausible deniability.

So you see the people in our government are the real filmmakers, Nollywood is child’s play compared to them.

Or perhaps you want to wonder how they are now claiming that live videos were doctored. As if that is not enough, I read somewhere that Palliatives that were meant to be shared were kept in so many warehouses across the country and that one of the leaders said he intended to share it on his birthday, ah tor! Ehen, so as his personal birthday gift or what exactly? People went to bed hungry between March and July when the lockdown and curfew were still very strong and as at October we are still waiting for the birthday. Ok.

Abi, what can we say? What of the Governor who was crying that he really intended to do more and didn’t know when his tenure ran out, eh o! please sir what did you do at least in that short time, because if you cannot lay your hands on anything you have done in the last tenure, crying and seeking pity will not give you a pass into our hearts to vote you again.

Until I come your way again, Ciao!


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